Text messaging should be in the Special Olympics.
Political science really isn't science; it can't be studied and reasonably understood nor can any solid laws be made about it.
The only war mankind should have is Ritz vs Cheez-it. Pepsi vs CocaCola is a losing battle for a classic.
Why is rock called heavy metal when it usually has no depth?
I'd vote for Oprah.
Stupid people are so bold on the internet; what if you could email ass-whooping? Hmm...negative correlation!
There's got to be hundreds of drinks that taste better than beer, yet getting so drunk you can no longer taste wins.
The name "weed" is negative yet people sniff it like a lovely flower. I want a hit of lotus, personally. Somebody roll up that cherry blossom! You know this is in season.
I haven't wrote a full sketch in months, ...damn chinese lit.