January 7th, 2006

elliot

ORAL SEX(SJ)

Hmmm…oral sex. Let me say first, that the logic to be placed down now will not be accepted by everyone. Some will applaud. Some will roll their necks and say “oh, no he didn’t”. About that whole “I do you if you do me” thing…yeah. There’s a bit of difference in adventure of the job. You blowing me is the same as you kissing and sucking and…and and…excuse me I got a lil excited! I have to wipe my fore head off, as well as my foreskin. But as I was saying my, penis is completely covered by my sexy epidermis as is any other part of my body. Soooooo, if you can suck my neck…fellatio is a check. Give me a hicky then you can give me a slicky dicky. Seriously, the genitals of men and women are totally different planets. Quite frankly dear, you just don’t have my type of atmosphere done there. Mars is a safe place to visit if you take a deep breath first. Venus, on the other hand, is just too harzardous for some astromouths. Not every man is Niel Tonguestrong. Just the names of that area just sound dangerous. “On the island, I was hanging onto a clitoris when a raging vulva hit me, OMG I almost died!” Now, if you’re scared of dick, you’re just a lesbian.
You ladies always love stuffing your mouths anyway. Anytime you’re bored at home, what do you do? . . . EAT! I’m a walking hot meal hon! I almost took a boat to Africa to save some lives. Not only that, but I’m always prepared to give out seconds, and usually prefer it. Yes, yes. Dame is quite the generous one. I should open up my own “straight from the source” sperm bank. I can imagine giving out free samples in front of my business, in between the town barber and a daycare. Hey Mr. Supercuts, How much for a trim down under, mate! …then go visit all my bastard kids in daycare. Hey Bobby, is your mom still getting those collagen treatments. . . I love me some collagen. Now I’m ready to go back out and pass out a few more free samples. JUST A SIP, LADY! She gets off her knees and bolts. COPS! SECURITY! VETERAN MINUTEMEN SHE TOOK MY MERCHANDISE! Did you hear that ladies…I said merchandise.
So, not only do you have a hot meal, but some merchandise all in the same place. Who’s really doing the favor here? Feel up your tank anytime you need it. You’re never running on E. Every time I go to the pump, it cost five dollars a gallons . . . and the handle is not even warm. Seriously, you guys ever give a lady some much Dameoline . . . well Dameoline is the premium unleaded supreme, very make this product… but have you ever gave her so much you really felt like you should charge her. Uh, Uh, Ooo, damn, that’s got to be tax deductible or something. Too much action can turn into a transaction. Let’s see the breakdown, 10 dollar seminal vesicle service fee, 12 dollar vas deferens import fee, 20 dollar urethra rush delivery fee…there’s a lot of work being done here, uhhh, that’s going to come down to a total 83 dollar 52 cent unload fee. Is this going be check or charge? A masterhard deserves Mastercard. Take a freebie while you can ladies. You do me…hahaha. Skeetskeetskeet eighty dollars! “oh no he didn’t!” Yes, I did. Yes, I did!
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